Giving into cravings, temptation, and feeling unworthy or undeserving (forgive yourself)

Sometimes we indulge in temptations, cravings, or other vices like alcohol or drugs because we feel unworthy or undeserving of fitness or health. Often, this is because we haven’t forgiven ourselves for wronging others in the past.

Here’s what we can do about it:

You’re probably already aware that there’s a lot more to building and maintaining the strong, healthy, fit body that you want than just knowing what to and not to do and eat.

It takes not just knowledge, but it takes doing those things consistently over the long run.

Now, a lot of us don’t have a problem doing the things that we know we need to do in terms of our eating habits, and our movement habits, and sleeping well, and managing stress — for the most part — but there are always those times when we have before us a decision to make where it’s quite tempting to take the road that we know is not going to be moving us closer to our goals.

And it’s not that we don’t know what we’re doing, but we…we will consciously see before us a temptation — maybe that’s… you know… eating a certain food, or perhaps it’s indulging in another vice like alcohol, tobacco, pot, or other destructive behaviors — and we consciously make a decision to do this, knowing that this decision is not going to move us closer towards our goals.

And there are lots of reasons why we might do this.

And one of those reasons — that I wasn’t necessarily aware of until I was having a discussion with a friend of mine who I’m also working with a little bit — he mentioned that he would make these decisions because he felt as though he weren’t worthy — he weren’t deserving — of being healthy.

Or he weren’t — he didn’t deserve to be fit; he didn’t deserve to give himself the food that he knew was good for him.

And this was a common stumbling block for him.

This was a… this was a recurring situation in which the sweet tooth would… for lack of a better term… that really makes it light but that’s what it is — a craving for sweets… would… would get in the way of him and his…his goals, which were to just maintain his health and, you know, fuel is training, and feel good; and maintain the lean body that he was used to.

He’s never had an issue being fit but he’s noticed that, now that he’s getting older, it’s… you know… he can’t go off track like he used to and still maintain his physique.

So we chatted a little bit more, and it turns out that the root of this unworthiness — the root of feeling as though he didn’t deserve the life and the body that he wanted — was because of mistakes he’d made in the past, and not forgiving himself for hurting people who are close to him.

So how do we overcome this?

How do we…how do we remove these roadblocks…how do we say, “You know? I’m ready to move forward, I’m ready to make a change, and I’m ready to start treating myself the way that I deserve to be treated”?

And my advice to him would be this — and I think he I think he’s already… he’s already implemented some of this.

The first is acknowledging that you’ve hurt somebody and… and… making it known to them that that you’re sorry.

But seeking forgiveness from the other person will only take you so far because it’s not the other person who’s making you work against your goals.

It’s not the other person who forces you to — or encourages you to — make the decisions that you know aren’t going to serve you best in the long run.

It’s you… it’s him…and the only way to overcome that is to find a way to forgive yourself for what you’ve done.

And this is a difficult process and you know I can share with you a few steps but ultimately it’s gonna be a long process, and it’s not gonna be easy, and it’ll take some time.

It’ll take some time it’ll take some practice. But first — beyond acknowledging what you’ve done and acknowledging that you’ve done something that doesn’t align with who you want to be and what you want to do — beyond that, the next step is to — or, a next step is to — separate what you’ve done, the action, from who you are the, person, and no longer viewing your situation as, “I am bad”, and [instead] viewing the situation as, “what I did was wrong”. You’re separating the action from the person.

You’re no longer viewing yourself in a negative light, although you acknowledge that what you did was probably not the best thing in the world.

And this takes time. You can…you can… try journaling it daily, you can try repeating it to yourself in the mirror, daily, and then really trying to hammer it into your subconscious.

Then, there’s surrounding yourself with people who you can show that you are not a bad person to, and who will in return show you that you’re not a bad person.

Surrounding yourself with friends and family and people who will demonstrate to you your worth; demonstrate to you that you’re deserving.

And finally — you know…I don’t really know how to wrap this up, but…but… just realize that we’ve all done stupid, and oftentimes really uncool things to others, and anybody who won’t admit to that fact is probably full of shit or they… they just have not experienced life to the fullest.

You know, we’re all stuck on this rock and we all fuck up sometimes, and that’s just how it is, plain and simple.

So just know that you are loved, and you do have friends and family who are there for you, and if you don’t — because not all of us do — seek them out. The only way to have a friend is to be one.

So find friends, find family, reach out to people, show your worth, and then — in return — you’ll come to acknowledge it yourself, and you’ll come to realize it. yourself.

And once you forgive yourself, it won’t matter what other people think of you.

Things will kind of settle out on their own.

I hope this video was of use to some of you… and… have a great day!

Originally published at https://coachroba.com on September 3, 2017.

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